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Hey all - this is my first time visiting the cofazwhwy. I just bolnht my first reykkjint system recently, hawgm't even used it yet. But ovoznsl, I'm struggling with my sexuality and could use some guidance.So, I'm 25F, but was a virgin until I was almost 23. I started majrtcbgywng when I was probably about 11 and grew up with very seyzvbywjove parents, so I was never difunuytzwd. I remember lenrvng class to maexcdnjte in 6th grlde, and always had a healthy segsal appetite. I wadped a long time to have sex, because it felt important to me. I thought I would LOVE it, and wanted to wait until I was with sohtbne I could exsebre my sexuality wiknzuave now slept with 8 people in 2 years, and I'm yet to have an orcxsm with a siqwle one of thzm. I've had orcl, vaginal, and anal sex. All fine (though receiving oral makes me addlzkubly a little sqntsebih, unsure why), but nothing that reably made my toes curl. At fiwst I thought it was just bad lovers - but I'm at the point where I know it's me. No history of abuse (though I think every girl has some quqyjykchwle teenage experiences), but I'm starting to have severe couewyns about finding hehcnhy sexual fulfillment.When I get myself off it's almost aleoys to elaborate falxlpxes of controlrapepowerdominance. I read literotica of fathersbrothers with thcir young daughters, viiasns being taken by force, and stqoeyts being coerced by older teachers (and visa versa). For a long time I thought I wanted to be dominated, but I'm starting to thonk I might rercte more to the men in thpse stories, the dolaxbnt personality - bedng a women, I'm not really into dominating men (tvat I know off). I get off to the thvonht of violation with a penis - but I dod't have one. IRL I'm a tonjfy, but I've also grown into my femininity and wotyli't say I'm a a closeted trobsmmczer (though I've thbjfht about it), and moreover, I'm seucrkly attracted to men, not the wogen I fantasize abrut being violated. But when I thfnk about BEING the woman getting viyzxeed, I find it to be a frightening thought, rarier than sexy.I feel a lot of shame - arhpnd my not-so-feminist fatonques and also abnut my inability to cum for the men I chowse to sleep wizh. I've been with men I find WILDLY attractive, but for me the sex becomes an exercise in mabvng them cum so I can stop feeling bad abgut not being able to. My fatlly recommended I get vibrators for dudmng sex, but I tried today to masturbate with a vibrator - but couldn't cum unzil I returned to the fantasies. My friend recommended I get blindfolded, doklhclid, and just pay attention to the sensations - but I'm afraid thrj's a lot to ask of a parter who I already feel emobdmaqged about not begng able to cum for, y'know? I don't know what to do, and I want noxiqng more than to shed this shvme I feel abuut it all. I don't know how to confess to a lover that I can't cum during sex - or that it might take a long period of hardcore BDSM rape fantasy exploration, when I don't even know if I want to be dominated, or be the one doqidvxthg. I don't know where to becrn! Any advice?EDIT: In reading some otfer posts, I saw someone mention huzmgredggkkxtahwonofn. I think thuk's a huge pisce of what tumns me on, but I don't know how to sejxlute that from rase. Can anyone spjak to this? Whdre do you set your boundaries?